Judge A Doctor’s Steady Hand, Not Their Hand Color
At the risk of having you think I watch too much television (I love stories, it’s true), I’ll tell you what I was watching this time: Grey’s Anatomy. I have a couple thoughts on the show, both positive and unflattering, but I’m going to stay on track for now, so…
I watched last week’s episode in which racism came up.
To their credit (in my book), I think they did a fantastic job of bringing it up. However, this is The Universal Laws that Rule-Skool so I never stop at what mass consciousness sees or thinks. For one thing, if I did, then I would have to resign myself to a racist world, and I’d miss what people truly judge. In order to understand the universal laws at play here and to make sense of judgments, we need to look at several aspects of people.
Here’s what doesn’t make sense: everyone – with any color of skin – and every gender and every age is discriminated against. So, it’s not about your gender, your sexual orientation or your age: it’s really about you. Should this change?
Sorry but the fact that there is judgement (which is discernment at a higher vibratory level) is harder to change than the way people will receive the color of your skin; ultimately, the color of your skin is not what people will judge you on. Nope, not your skin, your habit of picking your nose (that people really do give you nasty looks for), not your intimate mate-choices and not where you are from. You can’t change any of these, nor should you – oh, except the nose-picking, we’ll get to that in a minute.
Let’s put it this way, to not be discriminated against (or to minimize it) you don’t have to change your physical composition, but your energetic attitude is everything!
Take it Personally
Have you heard that you shouldn’t take things personally in life? Well, sometimes you need to take it personally. See, if you are to be wise and truly spiritually evolved, then you have to be wise enough to know what you should not take personally and what you should take to be all about you.
Here’s the contradiction, the paradox, for this lesson: people live in their own world and they don’t see you, so what they do or say, you should not take personally. At the same time, when you find that people all tend to treat you the same way take it personally because it’s all about you.
If you don’t like how people treat you, then it’s time to change your energy and attitude. Better still, regardless of how you like the treatment, you should connect with your authenticity and come from there every time, regardless of how you get treated. Of course, this will also shift your energetic attitude or the energy behind your attitude.
Let’s go a bit deeper with this all so that it either makes more sense or so that you can grasp it at a deeper level (which is called grokking it, but spell check just doesn’t like that word so it always tells me that it’s wrong- is that my spell-checker discriminating and being racy?)
He Doesn’t Know How To Take it Personally
Sheldon Cooper, Ph D – he doesn’t know that he should take some things personally…
I love the TV show Big Bang Theory so that I binge-watched the episodes in order. Two thumbs up!
In the show, Sheldon’s character is full of himself. He is confident to a tee and he is certain that you’ll adore him almost as much as he adores himself. In every moment when there could be a question or doubt about Sheldon, his response always turns things around, perceiving anything in his favor. ‘Of course you like me, I’m brilliant.’ Or ‘I’ll do it, I am the smartest one in the room, so you’ll all want me to.’ Are typical thoughts or phrases that come from Sheldon. On the one hand, he is oblivious that people think he’s annoying or arrogant. On the other hand, he is authentic and he is so filled with self-value, that if you watch the show and are close enough to the screen, some of his self-value might overflow onto you.
Sheldon doesn’t take things personally, even when –perhaps- he should. He’s a great example of basing his view of himself – his self-image- and his opinions of himself on his authenticity. No, he’s not perfect, but he is true to himself. If you and I were so authentically-centered, we’d be like Sheldon: in love with ourselves, with life and oblivious that bad days exist (or that people don’t like us).
In this way, Sheldon can serve as a role model to us all: be you and be oblivious of how others perceive you. After all, why should you care about what’s going on in someone else’s head?
Of course, by being oblivious, Sheldon also misses a life lesson that is trying to show or tell him that he needs to take others into account as well. Instead, because he is oblivious, he keeps repeating the same experience and his friend continue to think that he’s self-centered in a negative way.
You Shouldn’t Take Racism Personally
When you first meet someone, they will discriminate and pre-judge you. And they won’t be judging just your skin color, they will judge you in more ways than you can count. They will read your body language, everything from your stance to how long your hair is; they’ll read your smile, your posture and your eyes. They will judge your clothes, your jewelry (or lack of), your shoes.
They will have already put you in a box of classification, as if you were a file in their mental office, before you even speak. But then you will speak, further classifying you.
They may deem you to be good, bad, like-able, friend-material, smart, not worthy of being listened to or spoken to or they may decide that they want to have sexual relations or marry you – all in the blink of an eye. This has been proven in body language studies where people even predict who will win an election based on a photograph of candidates and nothing else.
These are just a few of the more obvious ways that people size you up when they first meet you – and I’m not talking about negative people, I’m talking about all people. Even if you were blind, you would still seek to comprehend your world and you would size everything up; you too would still be judgmental.
Can you believe that we process so much information about someone in less that a second? Watch yourself – look around at someone now (especially someone you don’t know). Just glance at them and then look away and ask yourself what you think of them. Ask whether you like them or not, if you’d sleep with them, whether you think they are smart, nice. You’ll already have significant opinions that come from a first impression and that are, likely, not going to change.
When someone first sees you, they will judge you. Ignore that. It’s all in their head.
The World Belongs to Those Who Work With It:
If you care enough to penetrate a person’s blink-judgement (as in the judgments they made about you in the blink of an eye), then you’ll have to change their perception. You’ll have to be one to those people who don’t insists that the world be the way they want it to be, but rather they work with the world as it is so that the world works for and with them.
This means that you’ll have to tell people how you want them to see you (Sheldon tells them he’s brilliant and adorable); you’ll have to point out the strengths or the parts of yourself that you want them to focus on when they are thinking about you. They will perceive you as you want them sooner or later, as long as you can behave or be what you are pointing to.
This is persuasion, a good kind.
Think back to someone close to you. Have you noticed that sometimes you look at them and you notice things you hadn’t noticed before? Or a third person says something about your best-friend or spouse and you’re like, ‘no, that’s not true’ – then you physically look at your best-friend or spouse and go ‘oh, I hadn’t noticed!’.
Here’s an example: for Halloween my daughter bought an angel costume. My friend and I texted each other about our daughters’ costumes and my friend said my daughter wasn’t dressing as an angel, she was an angel.
Who perceives (sees) my daughter clearly, me or her? I looked at my daughter again and thought, she’s right!
We see the world and people based on how we perceive them; we perceive them based on where we are focused. I had been focused on my daughter’s grades in school, her needing glasses and her messy room. I wasn’t seeing an angel, I was seeing issues I wanted to take care of for her.
Time To Perceive the Point
Show Up in Style & Be Note-Worthy
Why is it that some people are better liked than others? Why are people nicer to some versus others?
It’s because they show better. They look nicer, and this is often reflected in their physical appearance and presentation, but how they feel about themselves is more pronounced than their clothes and it speaks louder than their skin color.
How you feel about you precedes you actions, your words and your appearance. Actually, how you feel about you tends to dictate these. When you look at people (whether you are aware of seeing it or not) you will see their self-doubt and their insecurities. You quickly sense whether they know what they are talking about or if you should dismiss their ideas.
If you want to experience the opposite of discrimination – inclusion and an assumption that you should be liked and treated well – then stop to look at how you feel about yourself. Penny, the cute blond in Bing Bang Theory, seems to be liked by everyone every where she goes. Penny turns heads (both men and women’s) when she walks in the room. Sure, most heads are nerds or geeks, but still. She likes herself, even though she’s not brilliant and she’s pretty good to herself, unlike her boyfriend Leonard who has the opposite experience and isn’t so confident. They are both white, but he’s more discriminated against than she is – not due to their race, but due to their presence and how they feel about themselves.
How do you treat you? Do you use kind words? Are you sweet with yourself? Are you kind and compassionate?
You wear your self-image on the sleeve of your sleeve and people process this before making other judgments.
The Teachable Moment
The point to The Universal Laws that Rule Skool is for you to empower yourself and pragmatically improve your life. You’d be in the wrong place if you think that you are going to change others and you’ll be wasting your energy and time if you are insisting that others change and not be racist.
Discern, Don’t Judge
The wise person is one who learns to be discerning and to not be judgmental with themselves. You may think you are judging others or being racists against another race, but the only person you are affecting and the only person you are hurting is you because now you are applying your limiting beliefs onto your own experience (your perception). When you look at someone, you will see things about them in the blink of an eye, but there are other things you’ll miss. You will also project things onto them, applying characteristics to them that don’t apply, which comes from your limiting beliefs. Have you ever been forced to work with or spend time with someone you don’t like and then found that they are one of your best friends once you’ve gotten to know them?
Your energy precedes you, so stay open and open to yourself. As you get better at not judging yourself and at honoring yourself, people will see you differently – and they may not even notice the color of your skin.